DAMAGE

Sometimes you don’t realise what you’ve done until you’ve seen the damage and I’ve looked at the damage…

Look we got to talk, dang I know but some things I got to get off my chest. Baby come here and sit down, let us talk. I got a lot to say so I guess I’ll start by saying that I love you but you know this thing ain’t been no walk in the park for us. I swear it will only take like a minute I promise you’ll understand when I’m finish and I don’t want to see you cry but I don’t want to be the one who tells you  a lie so how do you let it go? When you just don’t know what is on the other side of the door when you’re walking out. And you see most of the time everything I try to remember to say always just goes out of my head so I’m going to do the best I can to make you understand. I’ve held on for a while now and there’s never a right time to say goodbye but I got to make the first move cause if I don’t you are going to start hating me but I still feel the way I once felt about you and it’s not you it’s me. I just kinda gotta figure out what I need and now I understand that we got to go our separate ways. It’s so hard but I got to do it and its killing me cause there is never a right time to say goodbye.

I should have stopped after you or maybe after the first one but then I was too much invested in burying my own pain and living on the edge of young wild and reckless. I remember there was that time 3am, my phone ring she begging  me to come by so bad and I was just right around the corner. I know I could’ve said no but I didn’t. Instead I said yes the minute she said don’t even knock ill leave the door unlocked for you. I should have listened to my intuition. She had a tank top on I took it off and I should’ve stopped but she ain’t let me, she kissed me soft and gently, damn she tempt me and right then I stopped thinking consequences but I guess I must have lost my mind for a minute and soon she became a gateway to a pattern:

I find myself telling her how beautiful she is anyway. ‘Cause it’s true, all women are, in one way or another. You know, there’s always something about every damn one of you, it’s a smile, a curve, a secret. You ladies really are the most amazing creatures, my life’s work. But then there is the morning after, a hangover and the realisation that I’m not quite as available as I thought I was the night before. And then she’s gone, and I’m haunted by yet another road not taken.

So just look at the damage that I’ve caused but girl you know that I love you and with them others that was mostly lust and a lifetime of bottled up rage and pure emotion. Shit shouldn’t have happened and I know that I messed up, one lie started this whole thing and now just look at the damage. The damage that I also caused you. I know I broke your heart, cause I did you wrong. Lost myself in a world unknown to me. Forgetting that hell got real for you the minute shit went sour. My selfishness caused this damage. It’s the dumbest decision that I made and I ain’t proud of, cause that meant that absolutely nothing you did caused me your love. I have to live with regret, deserve to get what you give, and now you won’t listen to nothing that I’m saying. Sometimes I rode passed your house for hours just to feel close to you. Sometimes go on ahead and pops some pills and portions just to get lost in memories of you but no cards, no gifts, no flowers could get me back with you. Your kiss, your touch girl, you know I’m missing. And to that effect I was trippin and dippin with these women in these streets just to find something exquisitely close to you.

Sometimes my heart is breaking and a thousand times I find myself asking why I’m I taking so long to say this? But trust me, girl I never meant to crash your world and I never thought I would see the day we grew apart. Losing you tore me apart way more than I expected and so I vented and I even gave a virgin the urge to rape me just for me to break her little heart cause as a matter of fact sometimes I just need some booty to get my shit in check. Stayed on this long road accumulating baggage and sometimes when he don’t do you good I was always going to do you better but turns out better the devil you knew than the angel you got to meet on a Friday night club drunk as hell. Always hitting clubs weekend to weekend venting and hoping I get my dick rubbed by some big booty women cause the life I portrayed was being a champagne pouring nigga loving me some big asses and tits. Oh how far I fell.

Popping up but never spending the night, knowingly tethering you to an emotionless being, and for all those I tore my apologies guess shit was deeper than you thought. At least I was always being polite never treating any of you with any bit of disrespect as far as my own knowledge is relevant. But I respect  those who knew what I was and outright what I got y’all needed a lot thus understanding that sometimes life in itself is already too much for extra feels. Sometimes I don’t remember y’all names but I remember how your pussy was like cause everybody know I’m always up to no good but can you blame me if I find every fucking single one of you fine pieces of art that I want to have to myself. So much underrated potential we have in our ladies.

For them I was mr.right to me they were just multiple miss tonights and sometimes, more often than not it wasn’t about finding the one but just the one that I desire and y’all can relate so don’t read this with any hate. Find a lady sitting at the back of a bus looking sweet enough to make a nigga need a fill in yet I get bored so fast that they won’t last but you see most of you just have my attention for a minute and then you lose me cause you all act like you deserve the world but very few can get there since your mind don’t match what your ass got and so look at the damage that I caused having a girl dump her boyfriend only for me to stand her up cause a fine damn thing in a little black dress just caught my attention. Mostly I’m occupied and y’all need time but that’s just something not worthy to provide if ur ass fat but ur mind blunt and ur personality more shitty than the last.

Get caught up in the damage then I get feels and so come here cause I’m about to take u higher cause we about to set this bitch on fire. Pour a lil gas, spark up your light. We all know looks kill and you definitely trynna make a killing and I know love is a gamble so u ain’t dealing with no broke nigga but I’m here lusting just like a thirsty nigga trynna bag a sister with a killer pussy. And now that I got some money I bet that head is going to be amazing. Yes chivalry is dead we ain’t gonna argue about it but u see its women  who killed it and if pussy was part of the stock exchange market then that stock be plummeting as hell every week cause ‘em ladies just giving it up too easy these days and it’s just disgracing. Some of this chics I haven’t seen since way back then when I thought you was just a cutie though your booty be a mad thing but now you went and got thick on a nigga and got me like goddamit hey now I got a thing for you and you have to understand it ain’t that serious cause I also got that THANG for you but only time will tell. Maybe just maybe cupid gonna shoot me down once and for all but till then I think I’m going to hang with you cause you see way back then I thought to fuck with you was impossible but some of you are already baby mama’s. Your body looking like a fucking pot of gold making me feel like u a lepricon and now you got that mean lil walk with the model pose. All up in this bitch slaying with your hair done and some designer clothes but I just hope your mind match what ur ass got.

Damn girl you are on a roll so don’t worry about your man. He don’t have to know but I get so bored so fast so they usually don’t last that’s why two of my exes are special cause it was like I met them in my favourite class. That ass got me hitting on you so fast but my life is like a movie I will only settle for a co-star. Maybe back then I had a lil boy crush on u before we grew up and my mind blew up with all these ideas that way I ain’t for sure if your love is really genuine. Is you my home girl? Show me what kind of friend you is, what if its phony and only too late for turning back so fuck it, we continuing, get that ass in position I’d love to bend you in. And so just like that I’ve caused all this carnage and brought y’all  this damage but to some extent it was only poetic justice cause I bet I was karma’s idea of what y’all deserved.

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You-Love

Your sun rose in my life,

And dispelled the coldness of loneliness,

Shrinking the darkness of uncertainty,

This is a memory of time,

I hope the clock freezes forever,

Let this feeling warm the cockles,

Of my heart, soon to be yours,

The morose mist of sadness,

Rises and disappears in the heart,

And the steam rises like smoke,

From a mystic rite,

And halo of your sun,

Lights up my way,

Leaving shadows everywhere,

Just like magic,

I get a thousand hugs,

From the sun’s strobes,

I want to exist in this paradise

For an eternity.

PACT

Pieces of you, pieces of me,

Blood for blood,

Love for love,

Soul for soul,

Remind us of what we should be,

I gasp at the miles that separate,

And my distortion in the human mirror,

Makes me shrink in horror,

But you remained behind,

In a memory of a time,

I guarantee you,

Fate will bring us,

Me and you,

Together,

Forever.

EDIFICES FROZEN BY LUV

Starter logo

​At a time like this, long ago,

She was his, everything he could forego,

Guessed what it is, feeding a super ego,

Edifices frozen by love.
Love is powerful, domineering, controlling,

Lustful, consummating, consuming,

Infatuation makes players out of gentlemen,

Edifices frozen by love.
In my thoughts, in my fantasies,

Ghosts of a past life, haunt and daunt,

Forgotten memories were jumping to the present,

Edifices frozen by love.
Yet I try to forget, what we had,

In the past, we were an entity, a god and his goddess,

What we were was a powerful thing,

What we might have been was a wonderful empire,

I tend to think,

Maybe now I fear because I might self-destruct,

Edifices frozen by love.
But when I close my eyes,

I see her, a sweet angel flying beside me,

Moving along me as I torn the chapters of my life,

Guiding, healing, a source of life,

Edifices frozen by love.
Yet I cannot really face the facts,

Maybe you have forgotten and moved on,

Maybe my world is built on pillars,

Of salt and sand,

Edifices frozen by love.
To you I might be history, ancient or archaic,

Forgotten in the ignorance of your own past actions, Insignificant, small, minute, tiny,

But what we had, stopped time,

Edifices frozen by love.
And with time stopping, all processes stop,

But most painful of all is the knowledge,

That you loved, yet weren’t loved,

Insignificant, non-existent, zero, nada,

Lost in the annals of a past,

Edifices frozen by love.

 

I AM NUMB

(For this writing the works of renowned artists were used I thank them for guiding my hands on these don’t judge just read.)

Everybody is cramming up my space everyone wanting to know how it went down and hoes availing themselves as I am single now. Yes, I am single now but that’s not the point. I am talking but no one is listening when I say I’m fine. So you’ll want me to bleed out cause ya’ll are telling me that I am so fucked up but when I look around everyone around me is way more fucked up than I am but oh well. I feel no pain, I do not but it seems I have to gorge my heart because yet again only paper will listen. It’s not that I am super human or anything I am simply numb to the pain.

So here goes nothing…

Look at us, never thought it would be you who would have found new, girl we may never know, it is enough knowing that I won’t lose my way but getting here wasn’t easy. We bend, don’t break that’s the story of us but I guess it’s I bend, don’t break that’s the story of me. No give or take, didn’t get me nowhere. I’ve learnt from the hurt along the way and it brought me right to you. I’m taking every road under the sun. Every dead end love brought another one. I should be fuming at all the time we wasted but a million wrongs lead me right to you, right there and it felt right, there. So right, there with you. Got scars, some of them you gave me some of them I caused, that doesn’t matter now. We both know the worst part is over and there is no letting go.

Hearts are like cars just racing on broken pavements going nowhere fast, still we stay on the gas. Love don’t ride easy and it aint always pretty; yeah I know cause I have taken every road. You gonna love me anyway though, that much I have figured out beside Sagittarius men are best equipped at diffusing the atomic bomb Aries. I know you probably never had somebody loving you like I do, somebody that’s there for you; don’t judge you cause I know we only human. I must be stupid babe, letting you slip away but I did what’s best for you cause I am gonna care anyway. You showed me all your flaws, I showed you mine, didn’t I? Yes I did. I claimed your baggage though but you lost mine and that’s the only shit that pisses me of. All those empty promises now cumbered with broken bottles or is the other way round. I mean you can’t tell me this pen writes in blue then all I get is green transcripts but then again it’s just chess right? Pure marketing.

I wish you could see you like I see you. It’s not like your no good, you just misunderstood. Now it is my job to make you a believer and them boys will never like this man they can’t love you like I can but oh well all this will be taken for pride and feeling myself another misplaced conceptions created around the male species but aren’t we already used to it. I mean after all I am a liar, a bastard, a cheater, never to be trusted, dogs of the lowest pedigree, stupid, in over my head, scum of the earth and my favorite not important. I laugh. But I will love her anyway…she asked for thru thick and thin all I’m being Is a darling handing whatever requires but even a computer needs a power supply lol. But I’m like use me baby, anyway you want, I wish you were mine in the broad daylight but unfortunately you only love me when the lights are off, you only love me cause I’m around, you only love me when no one’s around, you only love me when the sun goes down and you only love me cause I put it down and damn its fine by me #grinnin_like_a_hyena.

She is like the wind, she comes and goes and again. All of my friends think I’m a fool, silly them but I’m like use me baby anyway you want I still wish you were mine in the broad daylight. She knows I can take her there afterwards she just don’t care. You a freak and its fine by me; but honestly though doesn’t mean I give at most any fuck, lol.

This is my twisted dark fantasy and I just love it.

You should have stayed another night with me though, a one night stand is all I need, just you and me. Tell me how it feels, when your man don’t please you right then tell me how it feels after we take that ride. Damn it’s soothing knowing I will be in your fantasies. Imma kiss you from your head to your feet, SATISFACTION GUARANTEED because I will never come to tease you always just to please you but oh well in my fantasy wishes are horses and I the beggar will surely ride.

She got me up all night though, constant drinking and love songs, down and out with these love songs; just drowning out with these love songs. This has to be the longest crush ever and if I ever get to fuck that it would be the biggest burst ever. She on a power trip cause she got me where she want a nigga. Love is a drug, like the strongest shit ever and I’m on one. She got me wifin in the club make my homies wanna disown a nigga but for pete’s sake homie pull it together. Just fuck her one time and be through it forever but then she still got me up all night and all I’m singing are stupid love songs, just constant kushing and love songs; faded out cold with these love songs.

My walls are up now, just a little room left for the last beats of a dieing heart. Crashed and ironically still torn. Jumbled up and shriveled but it’s all in precautionary motion after all girl I feel no pain, I’m sorry but this time it aint the same. Aint no playing no silly games, I just wanna do my own thing. My wall isn’t to lock my sentimental part out though, I thank you cause for once I feel good about being sentimental cause it appears to be a human characteristic and I am enjoying . My wall though is just to keep you out from warming my heart again, keep you from coming and changing my mind then leaving me to fend for myself, stop my own mental cacophony from splitting open to you working day in day out to in cooperate a complex human in my simple life. Locking you out is my only option, I have been thru this once before and I know so I’m wiser now. I’m not over drinking, I’m barely thinking about you, yeah I have moments of wallow and grimace but I just piled u up with my other exes like tetris. All I am simply saying is that you are dead to me…in my own fantasy you are crucified upside down and being continuously dipped in hot tar repeatedly as every time after the pain your flesh renews and that’s only a small creavace of what ur hell is. I simply feel no pain; once bitten twice shy I’m just waiting for my next ‘saviour’.

I remember it used to be you wake up, I wake up. I gotta get that paper, you gotta get that cake up. You gotta do ur hair and put on that make up and then we gotta act like we care about this fake stuff. What a waste of our day, right? If we had our way you would roll out of bed say about 2.30 midday hit the blunt then hit me up to come over to your place. I would show up right away, we make love and then we fuck and then I give you ur space. All im trying to say, love is ours to make so we should make it cause everything else can wait anyway and this time is ours to take so we should take it but I have always stood to be corrected and I aint about to change now. We should just wake up, bake up and just heat the vape up. Let’s just get faded and u better call ur contacts and tell em you won’t make it. Aint nobody around, let’s get wasted and maybe we get naked; cause I have been working hard and I know you have been on the same shit. I just wanna ease your mind and make you feel all right, so go ahead and tell ur papi u gonna be with me tonight, right? It may not be love but it’s pretty close; some hot fudge and a little smoke up. Curled up with my head on your chest it’s the best remedy for the pain and the stress but no one knows. If the world doesn’t ever change well then never get dressed. It would have been like one soul – two halves, right?

Piece it up with this peace and love and my peace and love just like the old days.

But now…

Tell me what you say please come again? If you can’t just stay down and out then there is no need to pretend like there is no way out. I should never have let you in cause you got me face down and don’t take this personal but you’re the worst. You know what you’ve done to me and although it hurts u have also made me numb again but only to you I don’t know why it’s different this time. I just can’t keep running away anymore cause I don’t need you but I want you and I don’t mean to but I love you. You said that you would come again, you said that we would remain friends but you know that I depend on nothing or no one. So why would you show up so uninvited then just change my mind like that.

Please don’t take this personal but you aint shit and you weren’t special till I made you. You better act like you know that I have been through worse than you but I just can’t keep running away but I don’t need you and I might never again but I will always want you and it hurts me to admit that I never meant to, oh God knows but I have to love you.

Everybody’s like she no item, please don’t like ’em, she one nights ’em but I never listened though. I should have figured though all that shit you were spittin so unoriginal but it was you so I was with it but then tell you the truth wish we never did it cause I usually stick to the business but you came out the blue and then you just flipped my switch. God damn baby my mind was blown forgetting you live in a different time zone though. Think I know what this is, it’s just the time’s wrong you still immature and yeah I know what you did but baby I’m grown and my love is patient and that kinds shit. It was meant to survive through different types of bullshit if we would have build on it cause it was real but it was only if you the realest wouldn’t be fighting it but I think ur pride is just in the way.

I thought we were a fucking fairy tale, but if you’re careless with something long enough it breaks and that’s how I feel. Broken, completely and utterly broken but I am numb…always remember that I became numb.

Funny how everything changed once you got all that you wanted nothing was ever the same and though I don’t need you I still want you and though I never meant to but I … but I love you.

Goodbye, you were the worst but you were worth it.

“It’s a big bad world full of twists and turns and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment…the moment that could have changed everything.” – HANK MOODY.

 

 

NAKED POETRY!

Isn’t it fun when you are in love? When the smallest particles and fibers of your being are only in motion because they live for the day when you donate a speck of your soul together with your significant other and in that awesome magical moment poetry becomes obsolete and naked poetry is born. I guess that’s how I view my children even before they are born and this is how I perceive my romantic confrontations with my ever beloved. Love is never simple it may be easy but never simple. Who said complicated can be as easy as A B C.

Usually the mr’s and I don’t get along from time to time due to the difference in opinions and brain patterns on same frequencies as often tend to border different lines on specific situations and they become extremists but that’s exactly how it is and we fit perfectly into each other one with insights of a subject on one extreme end and the other with an equally good opposite reaction of the same subject from the opposite extreme end.

“You are stupid,” she says. ” I find you particularly childish,” I hiss back. This our day to day verbally insulting exchanges with my dear beloved. We know each other so well it is easy for us to tear each other at wounds that can’t be closed, sooo well we know each other no matter what we wear as armor we can find the soft spots blind folded. And so we dig daggers into each other and don’t stop till one of us is too hurt to continue. We leave each other so open and so easy to chop down nobody can say anything and we go on cutting each other till we are tiny branches of what our dignities and egos used to be. It is for lives to move on because of our strong personalities but we pick up the pieces slowly and eagerly.

But I pick her pieces and she picks mine and we glue each other back together from scratch to whole. Piece by piece like artists of two distinct crafts we fix each other entirely and wholly but what is the glue. Usually I kiss her first deeply entirely then slowly and finally deeply slowly then entirely. Inch after inch I recreate what was and she doesn’t hold back either and she reminds me why she is the ultimate goddess. Every lingering touch of hers is an ignited dynamite that brings out the animal in me. Lunge for her neck so deceitfully with small lickerish circles on her neck as I make my way to her lips. Sexual lips they are, they can easily sexually seduce anyone if she wished to but even when she doesn’t she seduces me and turns me into something I love being. A demon of her own making. Down her throat finely on her chin sweetly up her shirt my ever wandering hands go to that sexy lingerie with nothing but my teeth.

Touch for touch intimacy beyond comprehension and we never get tired of brewing this power concoction till we are well gone and lost to the demon inside. No more lines to cross just steps to make and inches of holy grail to cover as I pull off her clothes swiftly but ever so gently and then she fully understands I will take care of her whenever and however. Perky are her breasts, hard is thy member. Hard she gasps intoxicating I flinch and she grabs me tighter than she has ever before and we forget why we were mad and we end up apologizing for nothing at all. We ram it into each other that we are a fucking perfect fairy tale and nothing will ever change but it never ends as fast as it started. Like nature there is a cycle and path to be followed so nature demands our bodies though filled with excruciating lust and passion should hold together and not explode to the tyranny of passion.

But we are animals with an infinite liking for each other and we don’t know how to be patient with each other cause then we feel whole and utterly complete with no cracks nor dents at that one particular moment she turns my hell into a heaven bliss and with every thrush be it slash or stroke we are one but is it sane if I said we are more than one. I can’t explain it and it seems insane but trust me its art when you get there. My tongue flicks back and forth sweet and slow in out and moist becomes norm. An alloy of the same metal shells but still two different constants in the same equation we magnify love into trust, commitment, loyalty and communication. Nothing to hide and everything to prove I let her lead the way and she goes back and forth like a soccer team. Gas full tank never gets drained or insufficient to make me smile moonlit smiles with fucked up utopias at the end of each smile.

I think motorcycles may be her thing and she knows she owns one. Flips from gear to gear like she knows her machine inside and out and as we continue with life she gets used to her new hobby speaking to her new fond machine. We cannot be what we are if we don’t invoke our naked selves to putrid art and become the soul bearers of majestic nature cause after all machines, buildings and everything else of no importance are gone we are left with generations and generations of outcomes resulting to intimacy and sweet sweet love.

Kissing her from both sides up and hands on her sensual behind. Sexy she is, classic she will forever remain trust me I’m a vintage guy. We have set a new high on the bar that marks love and in no way do I see any other couple taking it down. Simply enticing it is, sexually ravishing it will forever remain and crazy stupid love is what it is called. Nobody can really ever understand how to grab her by the neck and infringe her g spot time and time again like a maniac on an overdose of viagra screams I love you or how to infringe on my sexual being and make me look like a deity in the presence of a goddess when she inhales me so deeply and I become the only reason for her high. Is this crazy, oh yes it is; is it in any way stupid, well depends with your definition of stupid but it is truly and truly love of the highest degree in its best form.

It is simply naked poetry; nothing more nothing less.

 

Love you bae.

LOVE IS EASY RELATIONSHIPS ARE COMPLICATED

I’m not the man I was a few years neither I’m I the man I was a couple months ago but nether I’m I the man I was thirty seconds before starting to sink my fingers into this. As time goes by it is only by mother nature that we exponentially grow either positively or negatively but at the end of the day life is just one big learning curve for me. So I have been dating for six months now it has been totally awesome in fact I would go to say it is easy but it has never been simple maybe because of the parties involved.

Love is easy but relationships are hard and very complicated. But what makes it so complicated? Well, I can tell u for free that it is the rules of engagement set in place for both parties that make life miserable but it is not entirely true. In one big word the rules of engagement are CHANGE because both parties are so okay with the bubble they have lived in for years and are familiar to a particular routine hence how change is embraced by one party or how it is implemented by the other party is what determines whether a relationship will live to see its first year. At times love is strong but true love allows for change and we simply have to make new bubbles that fit well for your significant other because their needs have become a priority to your life and you have to be very tolerating as well.

Among communication, trust and loyalty the next two things that are very crucial to a relationship being the envy of others is tolerance and the ability to be versatile enough to accept change. It is quite simple we are always so willing to accept change when we get new cars, new pets that need delicate care and even what we eat because our health depend on it hence these are comfortably acceptable changes but when it comes to stop hanging out with your friends as much because she wants more of your time or stop partying as hard cause he ain’t cool with it we tend to fringe and we blow the best things we hard and we only figure it out later when we don’t have as much hype as for those particular things they wanted changed.

Though we can say that usually it is the one who needs to change that fails to grasp the importance of it all but it works both ways. Yes we have to accept change but even change needs decorum and a particular acceptable way that is mutually convenient for both parties to accept. There are changes that can be accepted and some that can’t but can the other party also understand that their suggestion is not as welcomed and when for example I become hostile about it because I feel it won’t affect us or I find it hard to change and she forgets about being patience or tolerating enough because change comes from both parties. I have things I want to change about my girlfriend and she has things she would love to exorcise out of me and some of them we have come to realise that they will never change like I will never stop playing FIFA and she will always get her way; same way with all other relationships some things u have to accept because we can’t all become perfect but rather perfected imperfections.

In fact I am so used to her right now if she gave me my way too often I would question her integrity but change has to come one way or another. You have to understand that people are different and we can’t all accept the same changes as well or be okay with the same particular characteristics because that is life. I may like how you fart all over the place and find it cute but the next person u date after me will demand you use the toilet. Though change is a must we should never forget to be mature and I can’t really say what is acceptable or not acceptable but given a whole situation with entire variables both of you can maturely talk and come down to an understanding not everything has to be a demand otherwise even with a spark between you the relationship will end with stupid lies like let us explore the world; well I will tell you for one the world is a scary place and often if we fail to glimpse that one moment of pure awesomeness we get lost in the mass of people where we get all mixed up with people who aren’t for us and many of us would rather walk away than accept change or find a way to talk about it. Loving your spouse is always the best part but building an empire is the most difficult part.

Maybe you feel that your spouse is being too much asking for something and maybe u are being irrational and haven’t thought it true or your spouse has a different view from you because he feels you are being too much with what you want’ it never hurts anybody to sit down and talk, like we are so afraid of what will happen that we choose to live a lie or suffocate; there is a slim line between tolerance and suffocation hence just cause we can’t talk things out because of mediocre fears we end up being suffocated in a love that we badly need. If you really love each other then talking will always lead to an understanding . Don’t be afraid to tell each other what’s wrong, in fact I like it when my girlfriend gives me heat and I give her heat usually we air out our views and fix it in like two days and all is fine though it is usually scary but slowly we have become used to the fact that it is a routine and there is nowhere the other person is going.

All u have to do is trust, be loyal, communicate in a feud, tolerate what you can’t change, accept change if it seems maturely asked but if all hope is lost nobody can ever blame you for leaving either way what you couldn’t love someone else will accept and that’s how we find our ways to the best kind of people(article for another day); I already found mine have you found yours.

Don’t make your relationship complicated.