JUST A DREAM

​28/03/2016

It was true when I told you, you were the only reason why I don’t flip and go insane and then it became the cigarettes. All I tried to create after you was all sour, nothing seems to go as planned. You know me too well and I wished you didn’t lose me the more I changed, I hoped that you would just grow with me, if I went broke you would go broke with me, I smoke you smoke with me and for some time, however shot, I believed. I told you my biggest fears and you the only one who knows them so don’t you ever go and expose them. This life is harder than you’ll probably ever know and if you ever been from where I came from and seen what I have seen and done the things I have done you would understand my nature, the emotions I hardly ever show and you would understand that my mother hates how she raised me but she loves what she raised. I can’t just wait to give her that big fat cheque. Baby that ass was fat, there was no way to hide your frame, almost got a nigga insecure but it ended in shame and sometimes I wonder if u had the chance to do it again would we have picked a better ending? Thank God I found you and I have tried to forget you but all I have been doing is reminiscing about all the times we had together, remembering all the late late nights I used to call you. When that shit end it got ugly like really really ugly.

Your mama would have loved me, your lil siz hugs me ur dad pretty much enjoyed my company and u even got a few home girls that wanna fuck me. You had been staying in my crib, you gotta get about it cause if you laying in my bed, let’s admit it one time fucking and we no longer upset about it cause when this shit began it was all or nothing at all. You see you the type to kick my ass out of the house after I buy it and go ahead and tell me that you’re the pro and I aint shit. I hate talking about what’s private when we are not in private cause I never wanna say anything to fuck ur dignity up but since we invited everyone to the bedroom let’s take the covers off and talk about how you fucking I don’t what hiss fucking name is and you said you loved me and he is so lame I wish I knew before I took the rubber off. I used to see my future in your eyes like a crystal ball and now I’m just trying find myself through the lost and found. That diesel ass, half shmuck evil ass nigga who broke your heart so much you “hated” his guts and all. He shows up with that cold jama mama drama knowing very well you love the finer things in life and I wonder would it have cost u and arm to be patient. I have long accepted that I was stupid and I didn’t see that coming, I dropped my guard down and I paid the price. And maybe some of the blame is mine but then I thought you hated the nigga for breaking your heart but the bitter man won hands down and now all I got are all these memories faded with you, of me being faded with you.

Pointing fingers at ladies in my life making predictions of how I loved them and now I wonder do u still remember the accusations you made after seeing how the future is panned out.

Oh mama, we been through it all from the good to the bad, from the rise to the fall, you seen me at my best and seen me in my worst but you can’t say we didn’t try, we didn’t give each other time to grow. They said we wouldn’t last and now I know you gonna fuck up anything you touch but you don’t ask and I don’t tell, that’s where we both fell. I hope one day I can truly say I have moved on.

Recap

​Sitting down reminiscing about 2016 and i can tell you for a fact that it was another bad year and so I toast proudly “good riddance”. I don’t know about you but I’m so glad 2017 is here and at least I feel a glimmer of hope that maybe I can leave some of my bargain behind and just maybe I may get it right, just maybe the old man upstairs can listen to my plea. I can’t help but wonder though how many people still do the “new year new me bullshit” and though it seems like a lie we tell ourselves but there has to be a few people who actually believe it and follow through; I mean if believing in Santa is okay then why should believing in change no matter how hopeless it seems not be okay. Enough about that and back to how devastating a year 2016 was, I didn’t even get to get my babamboga on.

On the bright side, valuable lessons were learnt.

I now clearly understand the ones who say love is a lost cause. I’m not saying love doesn’t exist but damn I fell in love and got my heart stomped on by an inglorious woman but I don’t judge and for the early part of the year my demons were trying to deal with how stupid I was for staying so faithful to someone so ungrateful. I wonder how things really changed for us, I was out there tryna make something for us. Love exist but fuck it sometimes, you know what I mean, if lost it leaves a tear in ur soul so hard to fill no matter the kind of love. But the reality of the matter is that it sometimes isn’t worth a damn penny and so if you want to believe in it or not it’s up to you and I only hope you are justified in your choice. As for me, my course in life is set and I follow through to make the decisions that no one else can make for me cause that is a cross no one else can bear. We grow we always grow.

Got tangled in some nasty family drama. Family; if you asked me what a paradox in itself. To mean a bond that ascends all…blood is thicker than water…yet a curse that burdens u for eternity whether u say yes or no. As much as we love family, demanded or not, they can really get on your nerves. Family is what you make of it. Family is someone who would go to the end of their abilities to get you out of trouble. In a few words, I have been through a tad bit enough  to know who I can die for and who I wouldn’t give much care for if they left. Family has caused too much I almost feel I’m in some “The Originals” script. Family cripples you from the inside ad you are set on path towards sociopathic tendencies; highly functioning sociopath maybe not functioning then but now I’m so determined to get my shit together. I feel I’m almost there. But through family I have also learnt to let go a lot though hard on the soul but beneficial none the less. I have learnt family is strong enough to push through anything and still laugh at the same table genuinely. It wasn’t the most beautiful of pictures but hey a man gotta do what a man gonna do when u decide to do something whatever the consequences you shall bear with no regret. Too many cooks spoil the broth; having so many people telling you what to do is so damn hard but yet again life is hard and we live on choices so I’m cho0sing to be very selective and observant. I got so pushed to the edge i lost it and to think it came from someone u once called best friend…never again. I swore NEVER AGAIN!!

Another discovery or more of theory that there is an advent possibility that the man upstairs might not actually gives a shit and it’s our own hopeful useless selves that are trying to falsely create a sense that he does care probably trying to avoid the inevitable truth that humanity is a damned virus. This is all based on the theory that all artists, considering God is the most renowned artist of them all, get bored by masterpieces they already create as they quest for new ventures, conquering new heights and discovering new horizons that can transcend and amuse their love or taste for the divine discipline in itself. The older I get the more problems become real and making choices even become way more harder than it used to be. Choosing the right thing to say is so difficult. Life has no fucking tutorial, your put in this world to survive and quite frankly there isn’t a single soul, dead or alive, that lived a perfect life because in all honesty it’s not like there is any person who knows the perfect way to live. Is being Muslim the right thing or is it being Christian yet both seem like some deluded cult extremists who want to force these ideas onto others yet the origins of their ideas are on the pages of a book written a long time ago. They all just seem like some book club fans, no-offense, but then again there has to be some super natural superior being responsible for the existence of at least the first of us.

I fell in love with Naruto. It’s like this sweet funny action packed awesome anime I never got the chance to follow episode by episode but I finally sat down and tracked every single episode and though I didn’t finish i got to episode like 600 or something. It was not pleasing at all when news got out that the manga(comic-like) version of the book ended suggesting that the episodes will probably end this year. But if you ever want a comical interesting self help book I highly recommend watching naruto. And for the record animes and cartoons are two different things…animes suck you into an obsessed vortex while cartoons are just for the amusement of children fantasies.

Well changes were very imminent in my life in 2016. So much change in friends. Thinning of the heard you would say. Friends are a very rare commodity and woe unto those who feel that having friends is a luxury they cannot afford but I will be frank; i don’t know where I would be without the ones I consider friends. Some friends transcend and they become like family. I recently read that in this life you need at least two friends for you to live a less stressful and sociopathic life. Friendship is like holy grail. It’s a partnership between two individuals that envision trust and respect. Friends are those pillows u lay ur head when ur single and life is going awry but yet again even the one you choose to be ur significant other should first be ur friend. To walk alone in this scammed earth is torture because I wonder when you are walking on this earth then you realise you have no one you can call friend, no one who respects you out of their own volition, someone who actually cares than the stipulated amount and you think Hitler didn’t have a friend? Sometimes friends help bring you from dark emotional places. Friends help make the time you spend on this earth bearable. Not everyone can be your friend and neither is everyone u call a friend actually a friend but then again this are among the tutorials u need. A tutorial on picking awesome real friends. I will write about this later in the year but for now everyone needs a friend, a real friend. Don’t die without one and if you find it hard to make a friend then my dm is wide opened anytime. We will talk about anything from rusted metal to wet soil.

Love, the ever so mysterious elusive enigma. Four letters that have probably revolutionised the world in more ways than one.But I’m not talking about that general love but rather I mean that emotional deep sweet bundle of confused feelings you have towards a particular soul that makes u do stupid things which are then told are normal. Yes that! Well beginning of 2016 I lost that one person that was actually probably the only reason I was holding me together and when she left I fell hard and broke. Five months of absolute freaking chaos and maybe to some very small extent I might have regretted slightly the damage I caused to so many people; one of those periods in my life that I ain’t proud of but along the year I met some very interesting people(I have a new found respect for the kamba community). I fell in love but it wasn’t something I was prepared for but it helped and it still does, more than she knows. She is one real ass woman and I ain’t even gonna fight it.

My love for art manifested itself greatly so much so I think about getting tattoos. Busy browsing the web for pics all embodying a fine classy weirdly unique or uniquely weird taste in art. It was one of the few things I really enjoyed in 2016 as much as I didn’t write as much as I would have loved too. I listened to a lot of soul music; some J Cole and D Wright, watched nickelodeon to my fill. I was just focusing on improving my culture cause I kinda enjoy the babamboga tag now. It grows on me. Not to mention I have a very artistic better half. Aluta continua, I guess but art is everywhere. if you don’t find it , it will find you but the most important artistic thing I learned in 2016 is whatever you created in this world  and consider art was a 100% inspired manifestation from the world so it is only right that what you create should be left for others.100% of the universe is art for nothing is created without methodic thinking.
Till I write again. 

AFFAIRS OF THE HEART

​Nothing but darkness from side to side. The lights are off after all it is four am in the morning and i am not the one adept to making other people suffer because i cannot find sleep or maybe sleep doesnt want me. Non the less a small torch on the glass table offers illumination. At the tip of the glass table is a well sharpened knife. By now you have guessed the aura surrounding me. I keep thinking that maybe today is the day after all its just my demons, the knife and I; by the time anyone realises i will probably be on the other side of the veil moonwalking from coast to coast. These areone of those nights you feel like making a classic.

People say those who opt to take the suicide highway are cowards and useless quitters who are a disgrace to mankind. It is again a common stereotype that those who chose to tread on and never give up despite all the hardships they have faced are way stronger and deserve more respect than those who choose to end themselves prematurely. But then i am here wondering who are braver; those who sit down at the end of the day in their warm seats and end up smiling to their pitiful lives holding on to the poisonous illusion called hope of a better tomorrow or the person who decides to stare straight into the cold eyes of death and is so much unphased by them because theirs are equally cold and empty and so they end their lives once they have had enough of this demonic ratchet place we call earth.

Maybe i didnt pose that question as intended, so i shall rephrase it; how many people are brave enough to pass death on themselves without fear of pain, regret or internal self conflict? You, who stand there and judge those who commit suicide as emotionally and mentally weak to handle the prongs of the earth could you end your life if it ever came a day u so wished?  Over one million people die every year from suicide alone hence being recorded as the second leading cause of death among 15-29 year olds globally in 2012 thus making suicide a global phenomenon in all regions of the world. To further drive my point home approximately 1.8% of worldwide deaths are suicides hence on average, one person dies by suicide every 40 seconds somewhere in the world but never forgetting that suicide attempts are up to 20 times more frequent than completed suicides.

Cool air creeps in. It fondles my body in chills of desolute proportions. Its crispy yet fine. Im in riot yet im comfy. Maybe it is the torment i suffer. A barrade of thoughts comes in mind and barrade they do in steep momentums that are difficult to synthesise but you try. Maybe at a time like this it scares me that when facing death im neither in acceptance or denial of the concept; i dont know about you but that scares me to my fucking bones. Yeah i mean i do cherish life, for what its worth, and the sweet not-so-serene pleasures this world offers though not purely but still i wonder for how long will i still keep fighting and holding on to hope. Its been two years now and nothing has got better. My life is stuck in a looped limbo. Im those kinda guys who enjoy control; we take control of a situation assess it and give exquisite effective responses to counter attack such situations in prestine fashion; in short im just saying i keenly assess then respond. But then when you get to know me you also get to see this side of me that appears free from concept and structure. Safe from stereotypical thinking . When you think of it control for me is unnecessarily necessary or is it vice versa – im still not sure – so to stay in a state of limbo that seems to not end is a mental blow i find hard to stomach and trying to get out of such a state is inevitably hell on earth probably its the hugest test i have had to face in my life and ironically enough its not what most people would consider a major problem but then again those they consider huge i have already been through a few of them and i handle them more artisticly than i do this.

I am lost  between keep going and throwing down the towel. Knocked down so many times life in itself becomes unbearingly bitter and u wonder for how long do u have to keep going before they admit you gave it your all. When you try to hold on to something, to live for something and everything u apparently put hope in eventually disappoints u to some degree but again im still hopeful and u wonder is it a natural human response in life to simply Hold On for Pain Ends. I turned twenty one just the other day but to say the truth i never felt more confused in my life and i cling on to this blique silhoutte memory that reminds me that im young an im not supposed to have everything figured out but then when what i foresee is very different from the outcomes i get, despite the inventive changes i make and some i am forced to make, still i come up short. I no longer have the requisite set skills to fuck life up and karma once in a while. Maybe on my best days i shove up some nine inch of steel up hers but these days have become so countable. Funny how i have hope in a father who never sees the real picture. Never takes me seriously he thinks he knows what i need; all i need is the friend i used to know. I just want that tag team buddy i used to have and in a painful way im a guy who has held on to the image of my father that my inner child still has and if this didnt sound as gay as it is about to, i would say it often but im just lost without him; but the direction he thinks i need to go is no longer mine and finding a new path in this old world is so damn difficult and as time seems to be ending on my side, i just realised i havent figured out nothing yet. Everything is just in shambles i cant piece together but hey he thinks my problem are friends and drugs and you wonder doesnt he have faith that he raised me right, raised me properly to seperate what is bad and what is good for myself?

Tears weld up in my eyes every time i think about the shit i have been through but then im a man and they say im not suppose to let them tears fall. Its so freaking annoying, leave alone frustrating, to be taught to stand up for what you believe in and ask questions where you dont agree, to think before you speak and to speak out when you feel things aint right. When you apply the very same principles onto those who preach this gospel they brand you a rebel. Its so damn frustrating when you dont know the fuck you doing in this lifehole and when you look at those who tell you to do this or that cause its good for you in quite frankly their life are just not what i picture for myself but then they are just dreams…just dreams…my dreams…we all have dreams.

I race my thumb through the blade. It feels fucked up, more than fucked up. Why im i on this pathway? I feel like im on the highway to hell. Im I the only one who feels like out of the 7 billion people in the world i can only tolerate a handful and thats the only way i would like it but even out of those i tolerate…DAMN…just DAMN. Sometimes i just dont understand what people want, one time they are telling you to watch your weight then the next time they are whining on how you have cut too much. Always hitting you with negative tones from both ends like damn and they expect you to smile likes its all walking on sunshine and farting rainbows but fuck that yall should be lucky the purge was just a figment of someone’s imagination and it would be in best interest for yall that it stayed that way. I feel everything and nothing at the same damn time, i feel weird and completely and utterly unfulfillingly empty. I dont know jack shit. The grip karma has on my neck is tightening by the day.

Any emotional relationship i try to cling on as an effort for self salvation, i presume, becomes expunged before it blooms. You get served up a whole plate of betraya and it no longer tastes bitter but just the usual. Betrayal is no longer a pain but a norm and pain its illegitimate cousin. In exquisite fashion you begin to realise that karma is like an onion when it comes to relationships; after the first layer of cork sucker are ten more layers of cork sucker. My voice is dry by now, the tick of the clock is so significantly loud as if R.L.Stine’s Cuckoo Clock Of Doom is a reality.I am lost in a scary internal battle where one me wishes to hold on to this pathetic excuse of a life and the other that wishes it was all over and i didnt have to toil over whether to lie and protect a friend  or tell the truth that stings more than hot iron on flesh, whether to stand up to your parents and speak my mind then live the rest of the year wondering if it was even worth it cause they never listened or keep it to yourself and hope for better days, whether to give up on finding ur place in this damn cold place or accepting the system and never truly feeling alive because it is a sure bet serving of useless crap…in clearer terms its naming a monkey corruption and expecting me to love it, whether to go for it one more time with everything i have got or just accept im  not good enough and do it their way, whether i love Galitos fried chicken better than KFC or which pizza would i want to devour on a Saturday night.

All these choices and for some reason its supposed to be okay that you will be punished for things you might as well dont know if its really right or is it wrong. Is it so hard to understand that suicide would be an option. The sweet sound of death that saves you from hell. A dark place where you no longer have to worry about having new tech or where your next meal comes from. Free from the deciphering pain of trying to decipher where you will get your next cheque from. Free from the true ruler of the world MONEY, you can call me materialistic but damn C.R.E.A.M (Cash Rules Everything Around Me). Sometimes i really miss being a kid where eating blueband choco and watching donald duck with a big bowl of icecream was the kind of Saturday morning i just wanted. When the pain of my week was five days of school from 8-4 with breaks and easy to understand concepts that don make every decision in my life a life or death situation but everything changed when u sit ur first major examination …the first bar the system sets and when u pass u have a social image to uphold and u no longer have a choice and what u can really become it is already narrowed down for u and if u fail then u have a certain image u need to uphold and so u cant choose what u become until u finally see the system puts the same bar points at every possible scenario u need but then if u also think the way i do then probably u realised we cant all be at the top for the system to remain balanced.

Damn i could end it all with just a cut you know. Two simple slices and before they find me i will either be gone or it will be too little too late.

But i guess life is like this and when u think of it, the old generation must give space for the new generation. Its not that their work is not appreciated but we forget without the old there cant be the new. The old soil gives forth for the new seed,  the old will always beget the new and if at all i dont owe it to myself i owe it to the bloodline i so rightly fight to protect. The years taken by generations before me to give me even the smallest of a fighting chance. I owe it to all those that sacrificed even an ounce of sweat for me to be where i am today. I owe it the woman who gave forth to me  and has solely been responsible for rescuing me from shitty situations than all my friends combined. I owe it to her for believing that i was meant for more than mediocre(She still believes). I owe it to my pops who has to this day provided me with enough to survive which is more than i deserve. I owe it to the love of a fine woman who choose to believe in me despite all the rest and she chooses to hold on to something beautiful, something greater than i would ever hope for. I owe it to her for all the times she stands by me and takes in all the bullshit and chooses to look beyond that thick skin. I owe it to all the times she fucks the Neanderthal man back in to my caveman natural self. She makes me believe. And finally i owe it to the generations that will come after me for one day i wish to leave my own seed and self reincarnation in this world and trust my will onto them and see them through and thus for that possibility, that small minute possibility i will hold on to every fighting chance i have and so to you death i might be stupid and i might not have the balls to go through with this but the truth is i am afraid of you taking me before i do what i need to do so if i can buy me some more time i will but the more sweeter truth is that i am more afraid of failure than i am of death. Its funny how sometimes i find inspiration from an anime…NARUTO and i guess i am just eager to die trying; anyway as much as im not where i want to be i see progress and though not a satisfactory fruit it is much better than nothing and i guess i still love my life. So to all those who feel like we almost done remember when the world gets heavy and gets too hard to carry im that midnight mercenary. I hope when u read this u will be stupid enough to hold onto hope and live to fight another day. I dont know about yall but i enjoy being stupid makes life less stressful.
HAPPY NEW YEAR

An Allure Of Darkness 🙇

I am demented, 

It is not so easily detected, 

I am a monster, 

A hot bundle of bubbly disaster, 

I am a sinner, 

Damn be sure I aint a beginner, 

I hear voices in my head, 

They keep me calm and steady, 

But I never listen, 

They keep me balanced and safe, 

But all I know is pain, hurt, maim and my impure vixens, 

None the less  they understand, 

And together we stand, 

Deep down I have made peace, 

Peace with my demons, 

After all, 

Aren’t they just a darker reflection of me, 

And now I call them brothers, 

Never forgetting to make peace with myself, 

And now I call them brothers, 

As they call me master, 

But do I trust myself, 

Maybe with others but not myself, 

I am cold and dark, 

Yet blunt and bold, 

But if this is to be my last breath, 

Then I am blessed for it was purposeful. 

FOUR YEARS LATER 😧

​It was a long fight, dangerous flight,

Of burning midnight oil, everyday a toil,

Books squashing brain, nonsense advice rain,

Four years later.
Of gawking awe, of groupies of we,

We made friends, to infinity, to worlds ends,

We made enemies, ad infinitum our nemesis,

Four years later.
Of aging ideas, and voluptuous ass,

Eyes roaming, testerone roaring,

Rebellion well in the cards, beauties in ads,

Four years later.
Idiotic stumped ties, with broken ties,

Authority priority, commoner’s ferocity,

Death the only appease, forever not at ease,

Four years later.
Of shitting ideologies, of crafted eulogies,

Three years later, plus a year’s letter,

Will make or break,

Four years later.
Four years my friend, eases to an end,

Scribble that exam, till it turns out maim,

Ticket to beauties, in universities,

Four years later.

INTIMATE RESERVATION :)

​10 am my phone ringing you telling me you right around the corner. Flip a smile on my face, spruce up the place and sit patiently waiting for my little girl who turned me into a sex machine that only wants to work for her. She just tell me anything she down for and she know I will be down for cause I know we got some real real real real real real real real shit. She walks in and hug me tight and I let her sink in, gets all warm and cozy. Maybe we just hold on for forty five seconds but at that moment she feels like home. Only thing I got you wearing are freak sheets talking to you like my little freak bitch and be like I be working all night and now I need to hear you say my name, coochie popping as you say name and then we go all the way. I got her on camera that’s, my favourite show. I love the way she talk cause that talk turns into action as soon as I walk in.

She knows I can spend all night camping in. She know I like telling her what to do and still real enough to put her needs as my first priority and I take her inside outside and I think she can see her life in my eyes. She got that smile going, she got that boobs bobbling, she got that ass shaking and so I bring her inside outside. She so clean; I turn her over and eat the pussy cause she so clean and I like it cause you know body language; we don’t speak much. She got her legs going up and when she hop on that shit and turn around I swear I can’t handle that shit.

I know she can feel the passion, I know what she wants without even asking but I still get to see a side of you that they don’t even see or know. So we keep this private and we connect on a soul level. You so good girl I couldn’t one-night-stand you cause you are damn more than that. You see in the day time I will come running, be it in the evening I will pop my sneakers and fly off and if it’s in the middle night I will open my arms and be with her, I mean, if I’m free and aint doing shit I’d rather get lost in her juices and did I tell you she taste like pineapples.

Sometimes she goes hard and she hits me with her lips then her tongue and finally her other lips and add a dice of freaky you get a mboga triple threat delight. Girl if I said I need you, would you care? So many things I could teach you, so many things I could learn. Freak on freak so amazing…vodka and water and a lemon. She something like Rihanna while I’m up in that vagina; a type of chick that only dress in something that designer. She got that kind of dashboard that would make a dog wanna hump her. Now I know we far from perfect but I feel like this shit is worth it, do you disagree with that and if not then holla back. Maybe I should tell you I can see it in your eyes, how you feeling let me know what is on your mind. From 8 to 8 I think about you and maybe we should stop before we go in too deep but I’m so cool with you so I really just want to go in so deep until you feel it true.

I let her go ahead and raise her middle finger to her problems cause if she let them, they going bring her down then we just smoke kick back and blow it in the wind. She let me set her body right with body shots from sun up to sun down. I bet nobody ever did you better. I know you wanna run away with me every night so this one is for you girl, just for you girl. I want to get her tipsy, a little blunted, fucked up and feeling all up on it and so you know what I came to do. I love her smile and the way she moves and I promise I wouldn’t ever waste her time I would show you that I’m a man of my word girl and if u want it I will give it to you.

If they ever tell you to fuck with real niggas then I must be the type you want. You see I hate to get my bed wet but that’s how good your ass is. You would probably make a gay nigga reconsider. What I got you need a lot and same applies I can’t get enough of what you got, good God you hit my spot and I need that and I might not be ready to let go but I don’t forget that the world don’t turn how you wish it sometime so best believe I’m fine. Come around like right now though, you know where I stay. Good God, I will hit your spot cause I met a bad bitch that’ll cut all night and suck all night and hence I just wanna rock you all night long. I wanna go so deep I’m touching your soul and she don’t hold back either.

I just want to make u climax so that you can go back to sleep then I quietly join you cause I’m also less stressed out and that’s what that coochie does for me. She fucks my mind with some sexual healing. She won’t dare stop me, she takes it all in cause momma didn’t raise no punk ass bitch. She all cute and cuddly cause she smell like strawberry sprinkles but trust me she nasty yet she looks so innocent you would buy it but the fact that I know she aint turns me on a lot. And I like bringing that nasty side out smirk.

I’m talking mind sex cause we fuck each other’s mind first before I fuck her crazy. Please scream for me, beg for it, flinch on it, go down low for me and I don’t even need to ask then I turn her around and I return the favour cause I fuck her like I hate her and she fucks me like it’s my fault and though my prerogative is to hit and never commit but as I hit I don’t wanna quit and now my top priority is her ultimate pleasure BSDM reloaded and she up in my chambers, oh damn she is daddy’s little girl. In my mind I’m usually like; baby I know it is late but I’ve been frustrated and today has been a little hard on me so please don’t mind if I go a little hard on you too but I promise you, you won’t be disappointed. So don’t doubt when I say I’m missing you and oh goddamn I’m in the mood. You like when we get emotional and I know we promised we won’t but don’t you just like it when we have some intense sentimental sex like life was never meant to be fair.

She loves my ass and aint nothing wrong with that. I like when she assumes la position, we always about to create some hot new positions but only after we try all existing renditions. She comes knowing tomorrow she has to redo her hair cause with every long slow stroke she sees days of her future past. She has all the right features and knows what to do with them and even the master becomes the pupil and baby I love when you kiss my dimple. She kinda like wrote the book on how to sex me up. I kiss her from her head to her feet and I didn’t come to tease her I just came to please her…satisfaction guaranteed. They way I lick her might just make her go put a tat on it. She gives me flashbacks in flashbacks and that’s just sexy. 

I like when I flip her around and whisper in her ears, “Girl don’t you talk to me, don’t you dare test me, don’t even say a word, don’t even make a sound and I know I can be too much but just hold on tight and don’t lose your grip.” I want you just as you are and once we done in the bathroom, go ahead and race me to the bed then just lay there naked waiting for me and share in our sentimental freakiness. So when you feel like a woman in the sheets, got me licking too deep, splitting  your knees, kissing your feet, romantic slaps on that ass don’t worry that’s just me I’m down there putting my work in thanking you for keeping up with my shit. You just buzzed the front gate, I thank God you came. How many more days could I wait? I know you like it when I put my lust into words and then they would become just pure art. She like it when I get aggressive and she tell me to go slower, go faster, be gentle, and be a monster like controlla.

She is like ice cream; I just want to scoop her up like vanilla, add some strawberry and throw in chocolate sprinkles. I know we both lust for some trust and now we both colour blind cause apparently other sides seem greener. Everyone has an addiction and for now mine seems to be you. I swear I have done shit to you that would have my ex jealous and my pastor very afraid. You should know that my tongue loves writing you letters feeling you get wetter got me wishing I could hit it till the morning after. I like it when I feel your thigh slowly rising as I’m sipping from your water fountain. You going to flood the bed and while I am in your ocean hold my head down. Just take me under so that I can drown in it and I will never come up. We be going up-down, all around, drip drop, don’t stop, no umbrella as I’m playing in your rain so why don’t u come and sit up on my face. Keep filling me up with your juices, keep it right there baby don’t lose it.

My admiration you have earned and your pleasure has become my number one priority and just like Mary Jane you deserve that cause you’re my favourite kind of night. I have already said that pussy knows me better than I know myself and that’s why it is always out to make me remember. Pussy so good if I don’t get it from her then I don’t want it from anyone else. I’m on my way from wherever so get undressed, let us do the things that we say on text I want to get straight to your climax have you coming all day like a speeding bus. I just want to turn you out like pitch black; just wanna watch you do your work while I sit back cause you talk like you got what I need. You talk like you got my juice and the squeeze.

Here is the twist though, I have a girl crush and I hate to admit it but it is one hard crush and it is not slowing down. I got it real bad, I want everything she has; that smile and her midnight laugh that got you so hooked. I want to taste her lips cause they taste like you, I want to drown myself in a bottle of her perfume I sure as hell want her magic touch cause maybe then you would want me just as much. I don’t get no sleep I sure as hell aint in peace thinking about you under her bed sheets. The way that she is whispering, damn the way she is pulling you in. Lord knows I have tried but I can’t get her off my mind and if I sure as hell had a gun she would be the only one I would maim but then that’s just karma and I gotta live with that.

And so now you need to understand that I will be working cause I’m tryna be somebody before I say I need somebody; most of my emotions are well kept inside. I don’t know if I can be your man since the last girl I dated hit me pretty bad and you still have unfinished business to deal with. That pussy I know better than I know myself thus I rip a page off my notebook in anger and let these thoughts linger. We maybe into each other or just in love with the feeling either way I don’t give a fuck. So come here girl, I’m about to take you higher we about to set this bitch on fire, pour a lil gas, spark up your lighter u might not be the one but YOU THE ONE I DESIRE.
Mboga Breathes.

The dream…That  was

​I was a most innocent, sagacious gentleman,

Till perverted thoughts and tyrannical behaviour gripped my system,

Evanescence of adolescence they called it,

Mature grip was my statement,

I generally thought I was ladies gift from God,

How I plundered ladies minds, plagued their hearts, swept through their lives,

I was just a hoodlum with creative ideas,

Going for the prize – real classy ladies.
Then I saw a woman who still stupefies me,

In a trancelike mood, ego forgotten,

I contemplated and planned,

Of course! I needed a plan of  action to conquer,

What was then the queen of High school

All I did was by myself, advance my charm, the job was done!

Mine for the taking, her own words those.
It was heaven I tell you, mature romance,

We were perfect, Bonnie and Clyde style,

We enjoyed each other everywhere,

Mentally, physically, romantically.

And I thought of leaving my Don Juan lifestyle,

That was solved in a jiffy,

I still reckon that day is special,

It was a clean breakup, no emotional baggage,

No feelings just that and surprisingly, I did not feel a THING!

Or so I thought till the memories flooded,

But who am I but babamboga, a simple simpleton,

I climaxed once and contrary to critics’ ideas,

I will rule that scene again