Sitting down reminiscing about 2016 and i can tell you for a fact that it was another bad year and so I toast proudly “good riddance”. I don’t know about you but I’m so glad 2017 is here and at least I feel a glimmer of hope that maybe I can leave some of my bargain behind and just maybe I may get it right, just maybe the old man upstairs can listen to my plea. I can’t help but wonder though how many people still do the “new year new me bullshit” and though it seems like a lie we tell ourselves but there has to be a few people who actually believe it and follow through; I mean if believing in Santa is okay then why should believing in change no matter how hopeless it seems not be okay. Enough about that and back to how devastating a year 2016 was, I didn’t even get to get my babamboga on.
On the bright side, valuable lessons were learnt.
I now clearly understand the ones who say love is a lost cause. I’m not saying love doesn’t exist but damn I fell in love and got my heart stomped on by an inglorious woman but I don’t judge and for the early part of the year my demons were trying to deal with how stupid I was for staying so faithful to someone so ungrateful. I wonder how things really changed for us, I was out there tryna make something for us. Love exist but fuck it sometimes, you know what I mean, if lost it leaves a tear in ur soul so hard to fill no matter the kind of love. But the reality of the matter is that it sometimes isn’t worth a damn penny and so if you want to believe in it or not it’s up to you and I only hope you are justified in your choice. As for me, my course in life is set and I follow through to make the decisions that no one else can make for me cause that is a cross no one else can bear. We grow we always grow.
Got tangled in some nasty family drama. Family; if you asked me what a paradox in itself. To mean a bond that ascends all…blood is thicker than water…yet a curse that burdens u for eternity whether u say yes or no. As much as we love family, demanded or not, they can really get on your nerves. Family is what you make of it. Family is someone who would go to the end of their abilities to get you out of trouble. In a few words, I have been through a tad bit enough to know who I can die for and who I wouldn’t give much care for if they left. Family has caused too much I almost feel I’m in some “The Originals” script. Family cripples you from the inside ad you are set on path towards sociopathic tendencies; highly functioning sociopath maybe not functioning then but now I’m so determined to get my shit together. I feel I’m almost there. But through family I have also learnt to let go a lot though hard on the soul but beneficial none the less. I have learnt family is strong enough to push through anything and still laugh at the same table genuinely. It wasn’t the most beautiful of pictures but hey a man gotta do what a man gonna do when u decide to do something whatever the consequences you shall bear with no regret. Too many cooks spoil the broth; having so many people telling you what to do is so damn hard but yet again life is hard and we live on choices so I’m cho0sing to be very selective and observant. I got so pushed to the edge i lost it and to think it came from someone u once called best friend…never again. I swore NEVER AGAIN!!
Another discovery or more of theory that there is an advent possibility that the man upstairs might not actually gives a shit and it’s our own hopeful useless selves that are trying to falsely create a sense that he does care probably trying to avoid the inevitable truth that humanity is a damned virus. This is all based on the theory that all artists, considering God is the most renowned artist of them all, get bored by masterpieces they already create as they quest for new ventures, conquering new heights and discovering new horizons that can transcend and amuse their love or taste for the divine discipline in itself. The older I get the more problems become real and making choices even become way more harder than it used to be. Choosing the right thing to say is so difficult. Life has no fucking tutorial, your put in this world to survive and quite frankly there isn’t a single soul, dead or alive, that lived a perfect life because in all honesty it’s not like there is any person who knows the perfect way to live. Is being Muslim the right thing or is it being Christian yet both seem like some deluded cult extremists who want to force these ideas onto others yet the origins of their ideas are on the pages of a book written a long time ago. They all just seem like some book club fans, no-offense, but then again there has to be some super natural superior being responsible for the existence of at least the first of us.
I fell in love with Naruto. It’s like this sweet funny action packed awesome anime I never got the chance to follow episode by episode but I finally sat down and tracked every single episode and though I didn’t finish i got to episode like 600 or something. It was not pleasing at all when news got out that the manga(comic-like) version of the book ended suggesting that the episodes will probably end this year. But if you ever want a comical interesting self help book I highly recommend watching naruto. And for the record animes and cartoons are two different things…animes suck you into an obsessed vortex while cartoons are just for the amusement of children fantasies.
Well changes were very imminent in my life in 2016. So much change in friends. Thinning of the heard you would say. Friends are a very rare commodity and woe unto those who feel that having friends is a luxury they cannot afford but I will be frank; i don’t know where I would be without the ones I consider friends. Some friends transcend and they become like family. I recently read that in this life you need at least two friends for you to live a less stressful and sociopathic life. Friendship is like holy grail. It’s a partnership between two individuals that envision trust and respect. Friends are those pillows u lay ur head when ur single and life is going awry but yet again even the one you choose to be ur significant other should first be ur friend. To walk alone in this scammed earth is torture because I wonder when you are walking on this earth then you realise you have no one you can call friend, no one who respects you out of their own volition, someone who actually cares than the stipulated amount and you think Hitler didn’t have a friend? Sometimes friends help bring you from dark emotional places. Friends help make the time you spend on this earth bearable. Not everyone can be your friend and neither is everyone u call a friend actually a friend but then again this are among the tutorials u need. A tutorial on picking awesome real friends. I will write about this later in the year but for now everyone needs a friend, a real friend. Don’t die without one and if you find it hard to make a friend then my dm is wide opened anytime. We will talk about anything from rusted metal to wet soil.
Love, the ever so mysterious elusive enigma. Four letters that have probably revolutionised the world in more ways than one.But I’m not talking about that general love but rather I mean that emotional deep sweet bundle of confused feelings you have towards a particular soul that makes u do stupid things which are then told are normal. Yes that! Well beginning of 2016 I lost that one person that was actually probably the only reason I was holding me together and when she left I fell hard and broke. Five months of absolute freaking chaos and maybe to some very small extent I might have regretted slightly the damage I caused to so many people; one of those periods in my life that I ain’t proud of but along the year I met some very interesting people(I have a new found respect for the kamba community). I fell in love but it wasn’t something I was prepared for but it helped and it still does, more than she knows. She is one real ass woman and I ain’t even gonna fight it.
My love for art manifested itself greatly so much so I think about getting tattoos. Busy browsing the web for pics all embodying a fine classy weirdly unique or uniquely weird taste in art. It was one of the few things I really enjoyed in 2016 as much as I didn’t write as much as I would have loved too. I listened to a lot of soul music; some J Cole and D Wright, watched nickelodeon to my fill. I was just focusing on improving my culture cause I kinda enjoy the babamboga tag now. It grows on me. Not to mention I have a very artistic better half. Aluta continua, I guess but art is everywhere. if you don’t find it , it will find you but the most important artistic thing I learned in 2016 is whatever you created in this world and consider art was a 100% inspired manifestation from the world so it is only right that what you create should be left for others.100% of the universe is art for nothing is created without methodic thinking.
Till I write again.