Waking up to the after taste of whisky in my mouth is kinda fun but recalling the events of the night I was sitted all night watching my friends have fun but it doesn’t matter really if I have fun or not there are always about ten people in my phone who think I am out to bang every Wanjiku, Pauline and Jennifer. It is kinda embarrasing but I am used to everybody thinking and telling me I am remotely fucked up but yet again when I actually stand up and look around I see people are infinitely more fucked up than I am. So well seated in the corner I had an epilogue of thoughts all random possibly my self inflicted opinions of my life so far and the scary battle between my alter egos and I.
School hasn’t worked out for me yet and most probably I havent put as much effort as intended but then I know what I need to though tough as I have to wake up to the tireless ranting of people about how peer pressure, friends and my girlfriend are the biggest affectors. Yes I might have turned up an insignificantly large amount of times and I guess I have lost the taste for big parties and large events plus turn ups and I have turned into this classy 40 year old who sees a night in with the miss’s over fancy liquor as the best Friday night. It is not that I have lost my touch but things I want to achieve demand I change my lifestyle and go back to the basics of it all.
My blog on the other hand isnt going bad but I havent reached the optimum level I deem fit for myself. I havent been diligent enough too, may it possibly be the writer’s block that seems to appear the minute I sit down to type or probably the busy schedule full of things I shldnt do as much but still renders my mind and time too incapacitated to work. I have a good feeling that things will change and I know cause with my determined self, a supportive cast behind me and loads of creative ideas that come to stay so I can craft master pieces from them.
Family, hasn’t changed much. We do try, and if it was up to trying alone then we would deserve an accolade but my family is a retarded dysfunktional one that has more shocking moments than fun ones but it has become second nature and we are very much used to it now. I have kinda learned how to live with them the way they are and just thank God I have the everyday gift to see my parents though they are a pain in the ass a good portion of the day.
The miss’s, this one is tricky icky situation. Arguably the best part of my days but we share a chemical bond stronger than those existing between natural gases but our relationship is kinda complicated. It’s a sexy dark twisted fairy tale where the sweetness and darkness coexist. I love her as much as I did the first time and its kinda fun sometimes in my own twisted way but she has fun being the miss independent in my life sometimes treading the line between independence and bossy rather shadily but she knows her way through it all so a master piece of her own taking. I love my sweet black widow; differences and all forever is a long time.
Friends; friends come and go. Just the other day I got caught up in another one of those swampy dramedy situations where ur body is expected to float at the top after suffocation. This friend of mine got pissed at me after I humbly requested to put our friendship to the side since it was affecting my relationship and she acted like a drama queen and went on to insult me and become mad for reasons best known to her but I thought it was understandable that I did what was best because talking it out had become an obsolete option and I happen to love my woman completely. I wasn’t harsh with her though so about friends it is safe to say friends are as human as anyone else and we shouldn’t expect super human feats from them unlike the ones we expect from better halves. Friends are meant to be stepping stones that lead to maturity and a better life. Some of them are life changing same are dream crashers. Some friends become too close and become family. Treat you friends like gold and whenever shit happens between you two work it out no matter who was on the wrong cause you never know where you may need someone one day but if it doesn’t work out then just walk away.
Relationships…strange things these are. We have unseen strong ties between each other but every day I learn that relationships are not as easy and probably people think fairy tales are easy cause the script has stayed the same but scripts showing couples after happily ever after often show that relations between two special people are difficult but we thrive to survive and live to see another day. Work out your problems and if you cant accept change for someone you say you love then don’t be bitter when you lose them later; its quite simple. If you have found love though then I am happy for you but you know, most people, they go their whole life, and they never really find someone they love. They say they do because everybody’s the star of their own little romantic comedy, but they are full of shit.
Life again proves to be a learning curve for the ever young blogger. It has a bit of everything in anything and anything in everything. Life is a complex paradox and we live in an era where paradox is the order of the day. How we perceive life and how people are brought up are still the best reasons to how opinions are formed. I want finer things in my life, I only wish to live a comfortable life and so I want to turn the gear up a bit and I hope it doesn’t disappoint anyone as I chose to let my alter ego take 50% control again and I live a balanced life without much feelings and emotions. I guess I like my old self always being human and inhumane at the same time and that balance is what we all need.
Mboga strikes again from tablet with love