I’m not the man I was a few years neither I’m I the man I was a couple months ago but nether I’m I the man I was thirty seconds before starting to sink my fingers into this. As time goes by it is only by mother nature that we exponentially grow either positively or negatively but at the end of the day life is just one big learning curve for me. So I have been dating for six months now it has been totally awesome in fact I would go to say it is easy but it has never been simple maybe because of the parties involved.
Love is easy but relationships are hard and very complicated. But what makes it so complicated? Well, I can tell u for free that it is the rules of engagement set in place for both parties that make life miserable but it is not entirely true. In one big word the rules of engagement are CHANGE because both parties are so okay with the bubble they have lived in for years and are familiar to a particular routine hence how change is embraced by one party or how it is implemented by the other party is what determines whether a relationship will live to see its first year. At times love is strong but true love allows for change and we simply have to make new bubbles that fit well for your significant other because their needs have become a priority to your life and you have to be very tolerating as well.
Among communication, trust and loyalty the next two things that are very crucial to a relationship being the envy of others is tolerance and the ability to be versatile enough to accept change. It is quite simple we are always so willing to accept change when we get new cars, new pets that need delicate care and even what we eat because our health depend on it hence these are comfortably acceptable changes but when it comes to stop hanging out with your friends as much because she wants more of your time or stop partying as hard cause he ain’t cool with it we tend to fringe and we blow the best things we hard and we only figure it out later when we don’t have as much hype as for those particular things they wanted changed.
Though we can say that usually it is the one who needs to change that fails to grasp the importance of it all but it works both ways. Yes we have to accept change but even change needs decorum and a particular acceptable way that is mutually convenient for both parties to accept. There are changes that can be accepted and some that can’t but can the other party also understand that their suggestion is not as welcomed and when for example I become hostile about it because I feel it won’t affect us or I find it hard to change and she forgets about being patience or tolerating enough because change comes from both parties. I have things I want to change about my girlfriend and she has things she would love to exorcise out of me and some of them we have come to realise that they will never change like I will never stop playing FIFA and she will always get her way; same way with all other relationships some things u have to accept because we can’t all become perfect but rather perfected imperfections.
In fact I am so used to her right now if she gave me my way too often I would question her integrity but change has to come one way or another. You have to understand that people are different and we can’t all accept the same changes as well or be okay with the same particular characteristics because that is life. I may like how you fart all over the place and find it cute but the next person u date after me will demand you use the toilet. Though change is a must we should never forget to be mature and I can’t really say what is acceptable or not acceptable but given a whole situation with entire variables both of you can maturely talk and come down to an understanding not everything has to be a demand otherwise even with a spark between you the relationship will end with stupid lies like let us explore the world; well I will tell you for one the world is a scary place and often if we fail to glimpse that one moment of pure awesomeness we get lost in the mass of people where we get all mixed up with people who aren’t for us and many of us would rather walk away than accept change or find a way to talk about it. Loving your spouse is always the best part but building an empire is the most difficult part.
Maybe you feel that your spouse is being too much asking for something and maybe u are being irrational and haven’t thought it true or your spouse has a different view from you because he feels you are being too much with what you want’ it never hurts anybody to sit down and talk, like we are so afraid of what will happen that we choose to live a lie or suffocate; there is a slim line between tolerance and suffocation hence just cause we can’t talk things out because of mediocre fears we end up being suffocated in a love that we badly need. If you really love each other then talking will always lead to an understanding . Don’t be afraid to tell each other what’s wrong, in fact I like it when my girlfriend gives me heat and I give her heat usually we air out our views and fix it in like two days and all is fine though it is usually scary but slowly we have become used to the fact that it is a routine and there is nowhere the other person is going.
All u have to do is trust, be loyal, communicate in a feud, tolerate what you can’t change, accept change if it seems maturely asked but if all hope is lost nobody can ever blame you for leaving either way what you couldn’t love someone else will accept and that’s how we find our ways to the best kind of people(article for another day); I already found mine have you found yours.
Don’t make your relationship complicated.