MONEY IS TIGHT

You know your money is getting tight when every new prospect of making extra cash gets you on edge. You starting listening to ideas from that one pal of yours whole ventures are normally way crazy and flat-out impossible, I mean he is talking about owning a mkokoteni since someone told him its making 9k a month. If you are thinking twice about that idea then you my friend are easing towards my situation , in detail its not such a good plan. Nobody is blaming you, you got needs yet everything starts looking old once you get broke. I know I bought that jacket just weeks ago but god it seems ages. Paranoia creeps in some times obsessing if your schoolmates and coworkers already know you outfit, you are no surprise to them ,a blue jeans, a black t-shirt and that jacket. I feel the urge to explain I have three blue jeans that look alike but am pretty sure that would make things worse and I resort to wondering if they talk about me , if they look at me and talk of my same blue jeans , breathe. you have to understand this is why I bought the new hood despite not having enough for rent, and I might have added new pants too, can’t have people talking now can we? However I admit it was wrong to also buy the jacket, the shoes and the painting on the road looked really pretty because now money is not just tight , am broke.

I console myself I only overspent this month, next month will cover it, well that’s if I don’t starve to death by then. I realize I told myself the same thing last month but no its not becoming a habit is say, last month had emergencies that were out of my hand since the new mall had an offer of everything half price. I would be a fool not to jump on that. Which begs the question what is Westgate going to do for us now? Don’t get me wrong am sorry for those people, I really am, nobody should have to go through that, and here comes the but ; if am coming to that mall on day one of opening I expect shit to have discounts and coupons to nearly every food joint which is way better than my last assumption it will be free. They said the renovations were half done, I don’t know what it means for other people all I heard was a disclaimer just in case the roof fell on you . furthermore it’s important to remember grenades were thrown in there like tennis balls, am not saying there are unexploded grenades but incase …so if am here you better have offers .Listen, I know many people are still scared and won’t come on that day, if I was not as broke I probably wouldn’t either, consider me free advertisement of how safe the place is, a testament of… and everything that the owners will say when the news crews roll in and they will. Give the same offer on the TV as garden city and I will volunteer for an interview even go along with any script you want.

Not having money has a way of making you feel poorer than you are. Poverty becomes familiar as if you been living in the ghetto for a while and now can understand the pain of a fare hike. I am that pal of yours with the broken phone screen that has never been fixed let alone the fractures as enough to act as a nail file. Girls aren’t hanging around a broke guy either so occasionally you hear something like “ I don’t care about money but I prefer my guys rich”. That said, Neither am I calling our ladies gold diggers since money maketh a man so someone please tell all those idealistic people of ‘money does not mean happiness’ to shut up. First, since most of these people are soaking rich in lambos fishing quotes like those for the lower class, second, I would rather be sad and comfortable than happy and striving, am lazy that way.

People know am broke, I can tell, they looking at me funny. Now I know none y’all wanted to party last month for various reasons but now turn down for nothing huh? Am telling you they acting real shady these days. Suddenly girls wanna go on dates hit the coolest joint, which for the same reason are the most expensive and am getting tired of virtually killing people to go for funerals. I barely have any family left after staying behind during Masaku for my cousins burial. “…Yes it was his brother that passed away last week …, am sorry for them too it’s so sad…” they offer condolences . I had my broke self for the weekend and believe you me ,I partied, Cranked up the volume in my stereo blasting the whole building holding one joint (unlighted) that I bought with couch change and yoloed. it was as fucking boring as it sounds. The last time money was this tight was last year, everything in my house had gone on a riot falling into disrepair. Broken chairs and door knobs, the kitchen sink was leaking, the shower wouldn’t heat up properly and my computer had a virus. It wasn’t until my girlfriend locked herself up in my bathroom that I fixed stuff since she didn’t know how to handle a door without a knob, the locking it without actually locking it technique. Forgive her , her shags is in Karen.

Desperate situations call for desperate measures. its popularized Kenya is a man eat man society and safaricom eat them all I cant thank safaricom enough for making this harder. I do not hate the company, I just don’t like it all . part of this hate is directed towards myself for still being its client in spite of everything collymore has done to worsen my situation. Took away bonga points and recently our new favorite night bundles. Airtel is giving unliminet and am stuck with you, am resolved, am getting an airtel line as soon as my mpesa money is burnt out and the 400 mbs in my phone are finally used up. However ,am reading the notices on electric poles watching out for any bundles mwitu since I joined instagram last week . Granted, my line might be deactivated by safaricom if they catch up but till then…

I have made a full blown adaptation to my pocket situation, existing in my own terms you can say, in a sort mild kind of way . am eating food combinations in hotels to get the quantity I want , the ugali & sukuma for fifty or rice &beans for sixty. I don’t like beans but they don’t have a combinations of green grams and rice , they have green grams alright just that they going to sell it to you differently from the rice that goes for forty when sold without beans. Terrific Tuesday was awesome for me until they started over baking the pizzas, tastes like a hot fucking sandwich now and am still buying as long as chilles still want to eat pizza . pizza is a thing these days never mind the pizza inn in Tao has been there since I was a kid, people. Some of you might have thought I was dieting, the two meals a day was imposed on me if I wanted mullah for weed , another of the emergency . money is coming soon though, I have to only hold it together until 20th . After that am able to convince myself the end month seems soon enough to survive in its bliss that money is here, it’s coming. In the meantime am stuck admiring rich people and expensive cars but waiting , the paper isn’t that far now. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t be doing myself justice if I didn’t tell you my cousin is coming from Dubai on Sunday , this is the most important part of this whole article so tell your friends too ,anyone interested in buying cheap phones, clothes, tabs or laptops order now.

 TYLOR.

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