Friday afternoon, fires are blazing, friends laughing, FIFA soothing and stoned beyond oblivion. One perfect mix; so good that if it were some type of ice-cream I would call it the-taste-bud-rectifier or jumbo sweet. I am so chilled, both physically and mentally, thus it is only fair to reveal to you that my mind is at 100% performance. Despite this perfect aura, despite the uninterrupted attention of my hands on that x-box 360 pad and my ears lost to the beauty of the melody that music offers coupled with the unending vibe from the lady next to me. Only one thing occupies my mind 100 %( technically it is 95% because the other 5% is used to maintain my body in a constant perfect autopilot rhythm).
All I am thinking about is this girl that has made a solemn quiet vow to rock my world so hard I seem to rethink every step and decision I make. Nope, it isn’t mama mboga and neither is it something I want to term as a work in progress. Lost in a reverie of thought and all I can think is how the situation between her and me is purely delicate, highly neurotic and automatically cautious.
Let me explain!
She is no ordinary girl neither is she your typical everyday unique kind of girl but before I proceed I would have my fans and dear readers understand that this is not a true love thing but just divine conceptions and perceptions of my every day dark twisted self. I remain the enigma I am. She will read this and I am so sure she will know what I am talking about her but yet she is still ever so predictable that even after all this she will not understand and will be more confused.
The chemistry that exists between us is enough to cause a spontaneous combustion. It is so much so I would find it very pleasurable that it presumably sifts to my other inboxes. Wicked chemistry I call it. We haven’t known each other for long and neither have we been texting for long either but the chemistry baffles since the conversations exist between us are particularly boring but friends who read it feel envious of such a texting or chatting buddy. We constantly change gears and the atmosphere between has a little bit of everything ranging from sexual innuendo to twisted spite back to friendly comfort ability so much so if it is to be a storm then I would selfishly jump into it hoping it lasts me a lifetime.
From time to time the temperature changes but though the heat I’m in no mood to run, what bothers me the most is that she is among those few girls I am scared off especially sexually not forgetting that I am that sexual beast but to me she is the sexual devil hence I have to continuously question and be cautious of my moves and steps. Moreover, she has me up all night power tripping. She is funny and her comical nature, though twisted, spreads like a forest fire! Worst thing of it all is that I don’t know what exactly she is after; yes there is the everlasting friendship that has a spark that can’t go off and then there is a partnership that lasts ages but also there is the red card. On a typical based nature, she is not the girly girl hence some of the icky icky girly girly glitter behavior happens to not be a part of her fundamental system but from time to time she becomes girly around me though sweet it is confusing. Maybe she wants the friendship based on retirement benefits hence FWBS to worlds unbind but with that kind of chemistry I might get attached rather not lovey dovey shit nor jealous boyfriend shit but the attitude may disappear. Then there is also the other possibility but that one may be a fifty fifty wager so I won’t speak or dwell much on it.
About a week ago! We had fun and went beyond the reverie of coitus though very awesome I still believe we have more to offer(evil smirk). But then there was this moment she asked me what we were and I was there like some paused video not knowing what to say avoiding to make it more weird; unabke to read the situation and know if she is playing tricks on me or the girly girl in her just woke up and so the answer to that for now I may have to withdraw. Then comes the worst thing is that this is so dejavu cause it has already happened to me once and I fucked it up but also from my past experience I have learned with such immense chemistry between any two people is that no matter how much shit we go through or how much bullcrap we drop on each other is that these kind of bonds and ties never break and so like a parasite I am glued to her and I will always want to make myself relevant in her life but I am a kind parasite; I don’t bite too hard neither do I mind when she relegates me to a lower level of the food chain cause she has my ego beat but not dead.
This is my peril.
Not forgetting that she is drop dead gorgeous. She looks like the splitting image of William Shakespeare’s words. The resultant creation of the copulation of Edgar Allan Poe’s words and Leonardo da Vinci’s paintings and that is not even enough to scratch the surface of what her beauty sums up too. It is so easy to get lost in admiring the beauty of God’s creation. Extremely gorgeous she feels like an angel walking among us though she is a hot hot mess. She would make you so blind. One look is enough to halt me where I stand and she only honors me enough that she could miss moi. The fact that she puts her ego down for the likes of moi boosts my ego to the point I want no mediocre bitches not that I have ever but I have had exceptions yet I am not even remotely close to the epitome of handsome. I’m that huge guy who is technically fit, outstandingly cute with a very very attractive personality and that’s just it but then a girl like her with a werewolf like me then this must be truly the beauty and the beast. It is uncouth beyond normal, blended with enough crazy, dash of stupid and syringe fully of party animalism hence looking at this mental picture she is the beauty and thou at the beast but alas we should make this last a while.