SUIT & TIE : let me show you a few things…

As long as I got my suit and tie I might as well teach you a few things about love, relationships and the players’ club all jumbled up in words that are contained in this article. Why do I qualify to teach you well my qualifications are in a total of about sixteen relationships I am at the score of 15:1 referring to the ratio of how many times I have dumped and how many times I have been dumped, 15:1 referring to the number of times I have been told by a girl I am the best she has ever had in an emotional state to the number of times I haven’t heard it and finally because I will say what most of what people think and cannot say. We must agree that love is a very wide topic and I might not be able to cover everything but this is a start just before the month of love commences.

Love by far is what one makes of it. Love can be the resounding feeling one gets when they land at the bottom of a rainbow to find a lepricon with a pot of gold or it can be related to a mushy mushy feeling that turns u inside out and upside down to the point you are confused and you cannot think twice. Love turns us into people we are not as we end up doing things we never thought we would. Love corrupts the mind and any person who yields love, lust, seduction and passion is by far a guru of twisting anybody they want. Love is the beautiful emotion that keeps you hooked to one person every day and night making you appear as a zombie.

Love exists and the beauty of the matter is that it is a very strong thing. They say faith can move mountains well love by far can save souls. Love can build new homes and love can bring life where there was none. Love allows for expansion and adaptation. Love isn’t just an ordinary emotion, it is worth being a currency. To go deeper into this enigma of an emotion that even baffles scientists who are at the top of their fields, I would classify love into two; induced love and true love. Induced love being the kind of love that is grown. The kind of love that is bred from friendship and blossoms into one awesome tango. This kind of love usually entails two parties who start out as friend but not as best friends but rather the usual kind. With time they begin chatting for long and then comes the period when they begin venting to each other. With time it grows to a point where they see each other every day. When you think it is over then comes the spontaneous burst of jealousy here and there whenever they here of other things involving other people and then comes the final nail; the sexual tension that builds with time. Sooner or later, one of them will make a move.

Sometimes induced love will jump all protocols and start from a simple friends with benefits or no strings attached arrangement and one of the two but most likely both become attached and that’s just the way it is. True love on the other hand is when you just see somebody and you click together no questions asked. It might as well start with a hey then another hey and all of sudden you never feel like getting out of that conversation. At times it may be confused for lust due to the sexual innuendo but to be honest it is purely based on a one time chance based spark. You can equate that spark to the same feeling whenever you see your favourite food being served .

Sometimes people fall in love in the most mysterious ways, a simple touch of two hands.

Love should never be taken for granted. No relationship where people underrate each other would work. You might be there dissing your better half yet they sacrifice a lot to keep you happy so it would only be proper that you appreciate each other. Treat each other with respect and whenever any one of you has money lying around with no purpose then spend it on each other. This way people tend to secretly make memories that cannot be easily erased. Then you can go on to make each other better people by correcting those problems that come up here and there. Love like a rose has its thorns and a red rose is only gorgeous when it has no thorns but it is a masterpiece when it has thorns covering it then it becomes an entity that people want to be associated with. Make your love an envy for others as those thorn are symbolic representations of how people can’t touch and destroy what you guys have and also because despite all those tough times that love was all that held you together.

Well, now we go down to the nitty gritty. Women please refrain yourselves from undoubtly searching for Mr. Perfect. This man does not by any chance exist and if he did exist then trust me there is no way in heaven or hell that he would want your ass anyway probably he can get any girl he wants so he will be going for any girl who is better than you. Some of you girls are undoubtedly very ungrateful people, how the hell would you leave a Nigga whose 90% good all because of 10% bad then we get your asses stuck with a 75% man all in attempt of getting that perfect guy. SBMH(shaking both my heads). If it is not the search for Mr. Perfect it is by far the search for Mr. Right, which is even way perfect. Studies show that in search of Mr. Right women end up turning down 10 promising men who end up being way better than the men they have. What is so hard in going to the left side and whacking Mr. Left all the way to the right? All I am trying to say is that it is way better and very much economical to fix a boyfriend rather than hate him unless they did the unforgiveable sin of cheating. If that Nigga cheat on your ass then hell, leave his ass faster than you can say the word leave. A lying Nigga would probably bring a whole world of pain on your door as statistics go ahead to further tell us that 60% of cheating men rarely leave the habit.

Men are also by far entirely very stupid people when it comes to relationships. You people need to learn a hell lot if you indeed need to understand the basis of a relationship and why it should turn into something very promising. First you must understand that if a woman finds your ass cheating then u are doomed and so does the trust go away but if she find your ass cheating and she still by your side please on behalf of all other niggas and in the history of niggadom please put a ring on that or make her, as what we lay men would say, heavy with child. Second if you know you cannot in any way stop yourself from cheating because I, more than anyone, know that it is generically typed in our anatomy; please just kneel down and say the cheaters prayer where if God can’t stop you from doing then he should at least ensure u don’t get caught. But let us be reasonable, who in this world would love the idea of their spouse doing the same things she does for you in the bedroom with someone else so why should you do to another what you do to her.

Women, there is no substitute for a man. I am sick and tired of listen of talks about how men suck at sex and bloody creepy shit that you will replace him with a dildo. Again SBMH. The hell!!! First of all tell your man if he sucks at sex or you think these are one of those miracles where one day he be hitting it and you feel like you are entirely absorbed into your fantasy then the next day he be hitting it and you can’t even walk straight. The next shit, if you think we cum too quick then bloody hell you should know u women cum too late. Twenty minutes, having sex, bloody hell if I wanted a work out I would have registered in the nearest gym. Either u waiting for the second shot or you be keeping quiet, that is just how it is cause all men that the Nigga down there has his own mind. Next thing, I don’t care if your man has a 4 inch dick or he is bloody hell carrying a bloody 12 inch beef injector, there is nothing in this world called a dildo that would replace the D. That motherfucker has to defy the laws of gravity and go up; up against gravity. Then half the blood in the body has to fill that motherfucker and with half amount of blood in our bodies, we are still able to work your asses till thy kingdom come. Finally, I don’t see a dildo holding you down and telling you sweet things afterwards or offering to cuddle you. So please I don’t care if your dildo is imported with triple AAA batteries, there is no way it can replace the D.

If you like someone how hard can it be to just one day find a way to express yourself. There is nothing wrong with telling anyone how you really feel about them though it is only okay if one makes great timing of such an opportunity. At times it might be hard but don’t you think if you waste your opportunity someone else would come and take them away thus leaving you as the person who was the secret admirer. It doesn’t have to be outright; every one woman has secret fantasies of having secret admirers and so, why not send her a card or a pack of chocolate slipped into her bag with a note reading from your secret admirer.

Love is never meant to be stale. Love should always be a fresh thing that is continuously revised and new things added to make romance a perfect entity. As people are slowly graduating from the teenager state they are also slowly by slowly becoming more mature and I tend to see most of my friends getting involved in long relationships that they seem to be serious though they still fancy having side bitches or side treats once in a while. Loyalty and communication are a practical basis for any relationship thus they are a must, for with these two so is trust built. Talk to your spouse and know what they are really about, there is nothing more impressive other than two people who are so in love that they know 80% of everything about each other to the point they are confident in letting each other making lone decisions because they have faith that they are good at it.

Speak good words. Make it a habit to be in touch with your poetic bloodline and give your better half a couple of sweet words. A simple ‘you look lovely in your dress will go a long way’. For one I know every girl enjoys words no matter how words are said they will always be an instant impressive move. For men I really don’t know but remind him that he is your man might not be quite the move but it sure does well to boost his ego and he becomes fond of you. Do not be disappointed of someone you are in love with, it should be easy for anyone to own up to their friends about people they happen to love and share intimate relations with. Do not be afraid to mix it up. A little trying to do different things here and there is much better and will always make that love as hot as an oven. Dedicating songs to each other; gift sharing which should be an awesome thing. Love like I said must not always be physical, a simple appreciation or out of the blues lunch date would scream a lot on how you feel about someone.

Yet again, love is a sacred institution between two people; an affiliation and thus it should always remain like that. Love should not be an institution where friends and family hold an upper hand as no one can tell the heart what to like and what not to like. Love is a matter that can only be entrusted to the conscience and not the brain but in some cases, the brain can by far choose how it should be. Love defies mathematics for when two join in holy matrimony it is only then will 1+1 = 1 and when that love is natured and a product of that love is made, the equation then becomes 1+1+1 = 1. Therefore, love will forever be unique but out of it all it is only fair that we should treat each other with care for love to blossom so it is only fair that we blossom a red rose. Do not even refrain from listening to romantic music and go further and do old school music cause that is the way to go. When I say old school, I mean James Brown music.


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