I look forward to fatherhood!!
Yes, I have shouted it from the top of my lungs but in a word document so that it becomes soft noise. Do not be alarmed, I am not about to sire my own and neither I’m I thinking about bringing an Ayim junior in this world. Yes, it is quite too soon to release the kind of uniqueness I have in my loins to the world because I do not think that the world is ready for two awesome people yet. This does not mean that I do not think about it. In fact, I see myself with a kid in a couple of years even if I am to stay as a single dad it doesn’t really matter.
That product of my loin will by far have this good looks. They must just have daddy’s baby face that brings the girls to the yard or the boys to the yard. Definitely I will not go ahead to fertilize any Rebecca, Mary or Ruth. Their mother will be the definition of beauty with every letter. People look at parenthood as something that will drain the life out of them but for me I believe it will be my rebirth. I see it as a way of me having a chance at redemption for all the sins I did. It is I reinventing myself by blood. It is the creation of a bond that can never be broken whether we want it or not.
Please let me argue my case out before you choke me with all that negativity at the verge of your lips.
Pride is the first thing cause at least I will know that I do not shoot blanks so my machine is working. Second, I have a beautiful kid so my genes are outright awesome. Third, the kid is going to be a mini-me so it will be a mini-awesome walking around.
I look forward to holding that kid in my arms the minute they liberate themselves from their mother’s beaver. The first thing I will tell them is, “Hi there little fella. I am the reason you are here right now. I went in and you came out.” I want to see the first look on their face when they come out throwing their arms left, right and center cause they wondering who disturbed their comfort. I want to here them say papa for the first time cause I like it like that. I want to find pictures of me and them taken at peculiar moments sleeping in papa’s arms by a third person. I want to arrive from work at the exact moment when they decide they done with crawling and they want to make a pimp decision to walk.
I would love to see them throwing a fit when their mum wants to take them from my chest cause they like it there. I need to be there when they pull a fast one on me by throwing a tantrum at the biggest supermarket where everybody is shopping just cause dad couldn’t buy them the biggest teddy bear. I want to spoil them from the word go, giving them the most comfortable life I can afford cause I would rather wash toilets but see them wearing some flip clads. I look forward to feeling their pain when they are sick and them feeling mine when I’m hurt cause it is a bond like no other. I want them to use the puppy dog eyes trick on me to get whatever they want just cause I’m their dad. I want to see them grow old into mature people I have molded and still call me papa when they see me. I want to mould them into world-class intellectual people who are the best at their field; crème del a crème.
I look forward to my friends and even their mother feeling jealous cause we sit down and have that kind of talk that is uttermost interesting cause we talk like age mates and they only do it with me. I want us to have secret terms that their mother don’t know so that we can ridicule her or pass secret messages even if it means use of smoke signals. I want them to come and sit with me when they are much older and I’m too old and laugh about the good times we had cause they turned out just right in life and they appreciate me but not as quite much as they want to cause I am too valuable. I want to be a spirit at my own funeral and see their pain as they comfort their mother then listen to their last remarks about their papa but this will be after I see my grandchildren, which will be a continuation of the Ayim dynasty. I want them to understand that Ayim isn’t just a name but it is an empire and we all remain to be legacies of our times.
Most importantly, I want to connect with my children in ways no one else can understand. I want to have someone that I can dedicate my life and all my devotion to cause it is blood for blood. I want someone that I will love unconditionally and they feel the same for their papa. I want to have someone that I can finally trust and not to expect the bits of humanity that reside in us to mess that trust. I want to have someone who will fight, armed to the teeth, to protect their papa and for me to do the same cause they are my biggest investments ever. I want someone who will understand that they are my everything and it is only them I live for (okay maybe their mum). Quite reasonably, I want someone I can connect with and vent to as they vent to me because we make each other better people and we have this bubble that we can’t let anyone in.
If you think I’m going mad because I want that then by far I am the craziest man in the world.